Mini Earth

Where In The World Are You?

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Your Own Mercantilism

Viewing you from other people's perspectives is one thing that I should do. I could judge you this and that, but the way you behave has been motivated by x-factors, which I can't even see. I may guess but all of them will be really subjective. You are the only one who knows your truly self.

You bury your secrets within you. You're like cutting the bridge that connects me to you. You are blocking me in every way. I am now engaged in your embargo. You're like the old China in that Cultural Revolution, wiring yourself from the outside world. You're like a city which is being under siege but won't surrender.

I've been looking for an aperture on your majestic, well-defended walls. But you're placing your archers on the parapets so that I can't get too close. The catapults and ballistae won't even make the breach. You're super strong.

I am confused. I am so sure that the slightest opening would do. But your heart is made of rocks. I can do nothing. But then I am struck by a brilliant idea. I myself tell my men to change the rock that the catapult unleashes with myself. They tell me that I am insane. But I need to open the gate from the inside. Your very gate.

As I have made up my mind. I gather all the strengths. I recall the reasons why I should fly over the wall. And the reason is YOU. I step onto the platform. The squads are fastening the strap and they are staring at me as if they would not like to see me dead. Everyone knows that I will die. I am certainly dead in no second because wherever I will be landing on, I am good as dead. But I believe in my faith and my sole purpose: To open the gate of your Heart.

Silence hits everybody on the slaughterhouse. The fainted looks of the soldiers. I tell this again to my heart: "Once you're in, you can't get out". So as everybody on the battlefield is pointing their eyes on me, I start the countdown. Telling my men to cut the rope, I am filled with anxiety. Worried and wavering. My life is absolutely in the palm of God's hand.

"!". I close my eyes. I am so afraid that I can't even distinguish whether I am living a dream or what. Yet, I don't feel the bounce. And so I open my eyes again. The rope-cutters are unable to finish the task. Seeing their uncooperative attitude, my best comrade then takes control. He says, "Well, mate, I believe in you. I believe you'll survive and I do know that impassable gate will ultimately bow before you." I just smile. Fear has taken control over me.

I'm shaking. I shout once again: "Three!! Two!!! ................ ONE!". As I am shouting I can hear him drawing his sword. I know it's time. And Whoosh! I know I am flying! All those ticking seconds in the air have transformed into unpredictable sands of time. I suddenly relive all the past events of my entire life... The day I was born, the first day my uncle taught me how to wield a sword, the first day of summer, the first day I played snowballs with my neighbors, the first day I spent fishing with my dad, the first day I met a girl that took away my breath and the rest of days which I spent all with you, my dear love. Your gorgeous, lovely face melts within the visualization.

But the manifestation ends. I realise that at the moment your archers, with their jaw-dropped expressions, are all looking at me. They don't believe their eyes. Their bows are ready and the arrows are aflame, but they don't fire. Weird. And so I am flying over their heads, I am so sure they are puzzled. I bet they are wondering how such a mentally-deranged guy could ever walk on earth. However, still I salute them, waving my hands in the air as ridiculous as I can be.

My time is near. "I am just a second away from my expiry", I think. But God's answer is different. And as I fly right to the .................................................... (The End)

My point is, you write your own story. Your own ending. Your very own personal emotions. But remember, you're not alone in this world. There are me and billions of people out there.

I do know that you're well-guarded. We've been friends for more than 12 months. But I just know a little part of you. You're so exotic. I've been trying to look into you, but it always seems that you put so many barricades around you. To be truthful, I don't know who you REALLY are. Why do you always reply "I don't know" or "Never mind" or "There's nothing" to me? I can't get much deeper into you.

I do know you have problems. I know you are now experiencing an ordeal. A big hardship. Yeah, it's hard. If I were you, I'd be the same. And I guess that's why you sound so different. But one thing, your attitudes towards me are pointless. You're acting so cruel to me. And I've been trying to be nice. I will always be. But don't you see that if you don't explain why you're that bland on me, I will never know what I should do.

Time flies fast. And I've only got less than a month here in Jakarta. What could I tell you? I don't know.

Well, someday it's gonna make sense.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The Worst Scenario

Good things don't always seem to happen. Therefore, I must take bad occurrences into account, too. Because life is a mystery; you are just like a puppet and the world is your stage. Whereas God is your Master, your Shepherd and thus, we follow His Direction. But we don't even have any single idea what your future will be, right? We can predict them, we can make a forecast, but only Heaven knows.
"Expect the best, prepare the worst"
I can't tell when demise will pick me up. I can't tell if she'll be mine. But I can take massive actions to reach them! That's what you call "goals".

So this time, I'd like to write down some a scheme that could be the worst for me. Here we go:

These are the last ten minutes before you go. What could I tell you? I don't know. Your bag is packed and you've got your raincoat on. You're still here but your love is gone. I can't fight it, I can't even cry. Nothing can stop your last goodbye.
And I think:
I could lock you in the cage and throw away the key. I could put you on an island with sharks in the sea. I could tie you up, put a leash around your neck. I could bribe the police to keep you in town. I could build the Great Wall. I could put you in chains, handcuff you in the bed. But it DOESN'T make sense to hold you back because if love wants to fly, you can't keep it down. And more importantly because:
I can't tell the sun to shine in the night,
I can't tell the moon to warm up its light,
I can't tell the summer forever to stay,
I can't tell the clouds to stop rain,
I can't tell the ocean to swallow my pain,
I can't tell time to bring yesterday back,
I can't tell your love not to fade away.

You are My Girl (and I am Your Guy)

You are the winter following spring
You are the sun that summertime brings
You are the star in the nighttime sky
You are my girl (and I am your guy)

You are as fresh as the morning air
You are cute as a cuddly bear
You are soft as a baby's sigh
You are my girl (and I am your guy)

You are the love's know-how to explore
You are the princess that I bow before
You are the blessing in disguise
You are my girl (and I am your guy)

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Once Upon a Sunday Night

One Sunday night:
1. It was raining. I had a bad feeling. As I came out of the door to the yard, I stumbled. Yes, it did make me believe that the SIGN is quarrelsome. An exaggerator machine, a go green stuff, a boredom hollow. Should have been 3, but mathematics did its job. As Sister Acts went through the pouring water, I thought I needed to inquire. I delivered a good personification. And I regret it. It ruined my plan of the day! :(

2. Then it rained again! Another midnight breeze. The sky turned red somehow. And I felt like I wanted to invade Mars. Another clue for me? Another insignia which told me to see how I should be prepared for the worst? As always, it happens. Every time, in the very last step. Don't say goodbye to me, please?

3. Non star-studded sky. A rain. Heavy weather. Clouds. Lightnings. Even I can't see my best night companion. "Yeah, I get it. I am not meant to be a PASTOR, you damn it!"

4. The dropping-downs. The in-replies. The chats. The vocabularies. The espionage. The attempt. The surprise that was no longer a surprise. A jammed brain attack. A black swan.

5. The choir. 3 Men. All golden voices. The Catholic Church. The overworn Green Batik that she wore. The Blue Batik that I wore. The picking-up. The waiting. The Rain. The Gift. The accomplices. The Hello Kitty. The text. The driver.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

You Reap What You Sowed

I am not a Buddhist nor a Hindu, but I believe in the law of karma. What we did yesterday will have a feedback on us later whether it'll be tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the next week, or perhaps the next ten years. Even Mother Nature has programmed itself this way. For instance, the way we have been chopping down forests has contributed to the alarming rate of global warming. The CO2 emission has subsequently soared and if we didn't do anything, we would soon be on the edge of extinction.
"To every action there is always an opposed equal reaction." - Isaac Newton
But I'd like to take this thing a bit to ourselves. Did you realise that we are products of the past? We are what we, our parents and friends did to us both externally and internally. Life is a choice. All the thing in this very world is all but choice. Whether you choose the "yes" answer, or the "no" answer, or maybe you don't choose both of them (That's a choice, too).

As in manufacturing process, you can be a good result or you can be a defect.
"It takes three years to learn to be a man of integrity; it only takes you three days to degrade"
And once again, you pave your own path. If you are a bastard at the moment, leave all those bad behaviours all behind and learn to be patient, resolute and most of all, be kind. If you are a good fellow, keep it that way and wield your sword as if perfection existed. You can't change the past, but you certainly can alter your destiny.

We all once went to school, right? And how were your scores? Were you ranked amongst the top? Were you an average guy back then? And yes, the way we studied was represented on how we did our exams and how our marks turned out to be. Me? I was an average guy, my scores were not to be proud of because I didn't study real hard and smart enough to compete with those who always claimed the food chain's summit.

How about your health? What you eat will either benefit you or destruct you. To all those "carnivores" I send you this message:
"Please limit the meat intake, start eating vegetables and fruits like 3 times a day. And you will live longer. The rate of heart attack, stroke, cancer will unquestionably drop. You don't have to donate your precious money to the doctor." :)

I have seen many people regret the value of their lives when they are on the hospital bed, lying still and unconscious with Oxygen mask attached. At that time, they cherish the freedom and the happiness of being healthy. Even you've got golds under your bed, you can't reach them when you are sick.

Ironically, many of us also forget how it was like when we are sick. You consume saturated fat diets and bang! Stroke strikes you. You survive the stroke; you make healthy lifestyle the utmost thing in your life. Then you get well. After that, you forget what it's called "illness". You take beefs, barbecued pork, steaks into your mouth. Yes, eating has never been that salubrious. Bang! Once again, stroke comes to the surface! You survive, again, for the second time (Wow, merciful is God). You talk about healthy living everyday instead of sedentary lifestyle. And day by day, the "hale and hearty" breakfast gradually transforms into a "meager and inappropriate" brunch. Suddenly in the dead of night, bang! You suffer from stroke, again, for the THIRD time! And this time, you are gone. Even God will cry to see his creation acted like that. That you had been given two remedies, but you insisted to bring back the unhealthiness to your life. This example is a TRUE story! One of my relatives was acting that way.

Prevention is better. Much better. So people, start eating vegetables and fruits (for the "carnivores") and amplify its consumption for a better living. You can try the juice if you don't like eating them in such full appearance.
"A wise man will not fight even when the odds are obviously against him"
Griefs, sorrows and regrets will bring you nothing. Because like a seed, you plant a flower, it will not grow as a tree. It will grow as a flower. But you can still change by planting another good seed. Change, not tomorrow but right now.

Thursday, July 08, 2010

T&C Apply

Who are you? Who do you think you are?
What kind of traits do you bear?
How is your personality?
What about your background?
Are you a good one or a naughty one or are you a wolf disguised as a sheep?
Are you a frugal person or an extravagant one?
Can you change? Will you change for me?
Will you be loyal to me?
Do you love me too? Unconditionally? (Wow..Unconditionally. Yet, I ask you many of these silly questions. Sorry, really sorry)

What about your family?
Do they gamble?
Do they drink?
Do they smoke?
How are your siblings doing?
Tell me about your parents.

Your Insights
1. What will you choose, a motorcycle or a car? Why?
2. What do you think of "Distance doesn't ruin people's relationships. You don't have to see someone everyday to be in love"? Why?
3. What do you think of a couple who are in love?
4. Do you envy rich people for their wealth?
5. Does the rich deserve to be rich and richer?
6. What do you think of "Money is the primary source of every felony"?
7. "TV programmes make you a super idiot", to what extent do you agree or disagree?
8. What is life to you?
9. How will you react when you see a person claims to be the most superior one?
10. List them in numeric order: Money | Friends | Family | Boyfriend.
11. What do you choose: Ordinary or Extraordinary?
12. What is your very first thought when it comes to eating vegetables and fruits?

Well, there are still uncountable questions that I want to ask of you. I know I am a real choosy type. Perhaps you'll even be mad of me. But I need to know all of these because..I don't know! My parents taught me to "test" someone! And somehow I feel that this is inappropriate. But I really need answers to these questions. Maybe you'd think "Ugh, Jesus. Who is Steven? He's acting like a retard that seeks perfect love. Really disgusting." But hey, through this, I just want to judge people. That's all.

If you are really aware, Steven likes to ask bunch of questions. He likes to study a person deeply. To find what the others really are. He can absorb the idea of who-you-are by the ways you act.

"Know your enemy and yourself, fight a hundred battles, win a hundred victories"-Sun Tzu

Well, sometimes in some occasions, Terms&Conditions Apply. :)

P.S. those questions above can be answered by anyone.

Saturday, July 03, 2010

B'cos You're my Rainbow Love

White for the beginning
and red our love is spinning

Blue because you're my ocean
Tender as a cushion

Purple but not rainy
and green your hope will save me

Gray for stormy weather
Who cares when we're together?

Silver for the starlight
and black for after midnight

Gold because you are my sunshine
For everyday I am illumined

Pink as our sky
with a million butterfly

Yellow, red and blue
like a painted dream of YOU

Shining at the end of the sky and sometimes
reflecting from the ground of your eyes
It makes me cry
because you are my rainbow love.

Friday, July 02, 2010

R.E.C.I.S: Mixed-up Emotions

R.E.C.I.S. stands for Remarkable Engineered Children Involved in Service.

I made the protraction though. I've participated in this voluntary youth group in my parish for more than a year. This society, however, is the best one I've ever been into! The members are nice. They are superb. They are fresh, they are young, they're green (Green? haha) and they are exceptionally smart. We live in a same precinct, which is Kompleks Danau Indah. We share a same common thing to serve God with honour and dignity. We come from different societies but we all are good fellow Christians living in a densely-populated Muslim country of Indonesia. We are still on our teenage spirits because our group consists of citizens who are aged 12-25 I guess.

But well, enough with that. Let's get to the point. This group of mine started a programme called "BATIK 2010" (Battle and Etnik <-- These are what BATIK derived its history from). At first, the event would have been executed on July. That was damn crazy. Why? Because we hadn't known it yet until a person said that we were on the verge of collapse on early June! In the meantime, we were desperately gathering all the resources available. We assembled a group of 35 people to perform as committees. And so was I appointed to be a Chief Financial Officer to berserk my way through to achieve a 50 million Rupiah goal. We started from ZERO. Our treasury was ... empty! I was damn stressed and strained to the core! These strenuous tasks had my hormonal system disrupted so that blemishes started to emerge on my face; the same malfunction that occurs when I fall in love.

As time went on, well, the authority gave us a relief that stated our event should be suspended until August. I was unhappy at all, yet discontent. I thought things should have gone better, but not! Till the time I wrote this, after all the efforts my team has gone through, still no result. We have undergone so many ordeals. We have got across plenty obstacles. We have contacted big companies but still no response. We printed out our very proposals, we made our ideas come to life but no sign.

This thing burdens me a lot. This is time for all of us to enjoy the holiday time, but not for me. Even when I went to Singapore, I could not sleep early. I thought of Recis, I wondered if they can search for other sources of funding without me? I know it is my job, but for God's sake, there is a system. All you got to do is to follow the system. And when I got home, the same news. They did not search. I think positively: "Oh, perhaps they have their own matters when I was gone." Maybe I am too positive-minded. But wise people said, "You see the coin from both sides."

But hey, take a look at this good example! It was June 17, 2010 when I had to go for the 2nd survey. I texted to some of my friends to accompany me and they replied "Oh, I have my own business. Sorry, can't help you", "I'm quite lazy today. Can't you go by yourself?", "I'm so sleepy!" and et cetera. Well, my hope faded and I would have to go by myself to GOR Danau Sunter. But in the last part, finally Brenda Tedjadharma joined my cause! She deliberately jumped off her bed and did something productive instead of just sleeping. That's what you call a friend. A friend that we can lean on. Thanks Brenda for helping me. Without you, I would have done things inefficiently there. :)

Okay, I am quite tired of this job, actually. But as I have vowed, I will not leave my team alone. I will not. No matter what happens next, WE will face it! Whether this programme will be on our side or not, only heaven knows. Because I fear when tomorrow comes. Why? When the sun rises, it means that another day has been wasted and our time is getting shorter. That's why Time is DIAMOND, Time is MONEY, Time is GOLD, Time is YOUR LIFE!

I've got no one to tell these feelings to so I wrote this. I have uttered these to my best friend, Mr. paper in my Recis notebook. I talked to myself in front of mirror. I must be insane. But, I just can't keep these inside. Please have sympathy on me. Anyone? Thanks.
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