Red Rose

When some words were written down under the influence of some certain kinds of musics... Words flow.
Wait until the song plays and then you read this. Read out loud slowly inside your heart, word by word, sentence by sentence. This actually, somehow, represents my current condition.




----------------------------------------------------

Hi. There you are.
....
Oh. It's not you. :(
So, who are you?

L, where are you?
I've been missing you. :'(
I've been waiting at the front door.
Always.

Day 1.
Day 2..
Day 3...
....

Contacting you.
No answer.
Yearning you.
Hoping you are HERE.

The Sun is blacking out.
The Moon is breaking apart.
Meteors rain upon the Earth?
Still you haven't gone home.

Going to prairie.
It's midnight.
Stargazing... And yet
.. Alone.

Going downtown
Gazing at them.
Tears burst out..
"If only you were here. Now."

Escaping to the park.
Sitting on the bench under the gloom.
Memories of you... I recall
"You should have heeded my warning"

Going home.
Walking past a couple.
Should've been the two of us.
But.. it's OKAY. :_)

Home alone.
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner... All alone.

Time to sleep.
Closing my eyes.
"I SEE YOU!! I SEE YOU!!"
But... You're just a shadow within me.

The next morning I'm out.
The road we used to walk.
I see a bush of reds.
And I smile.

Buying a banquet of flowers..
Reminded of the time of the Proposal.
My head turns to the left..
But you are ... not by my side.

Then I go to the cemetery.
Where you ARE sleeping still.
I kneel.. And I say
"If only you had ........ (tears drop) ....... If only!"

Merlion's Charm

It's going to be 4 weeks next Monday. Days pass by so quick. I can't even tell whether it is real or not, but now.. My life has become very hectic! I guess the hurry sickness that plagues most of the Singaporeans has inflicted me and by the end of the very month, I will have suffered from a presumably everlasting, unwanted mental illness. The germ which shuts most parts of my brain. Indistinguishable yet bearable disfigurement.

But here I am. Trying to write a post in such a noisy environ, which I quite hate. I can't write when there are commotions. I need silence! Do I need to burn this block down in order to tranqualize things up? Oh, come on. (Shit, I digressed, again)

But well, I love it here! :) I make a lot of friends. They are just awesome! I love this cross-cultural ambience! Exploring the uncharted area in town, being subjected to strict, austere Singapore's laws. But guess what, I don't miss Jakarta at all! I miss my family there, all my good friends but ... Singapore is a good place to live! Really.

Everything is just fine. I've never been this better. :)

Your Own Mercantilism

Viewing you from other people's perspectives is one thing that I should do. I could judge you this and that, but the way you behave has been motivated by x-factors, which I can't even see. I may guess but all of them will be really subjective. You are the only one who knows your truly self.

You bury your secrets within you. You're like cutting the bridge that connects me to you. You are blocking me in every way. I am now engaged in your embargo. You're like the old China in that Cultural Revolution, wiring yourself from the outside world. You're like a city which is being under siege but won't surrender.

I've been looking for an aperture on your majestic, well-defended walls. But you're placing your archers on the parapets so that I can't get too close. The catapults and ballistae won't even make the breach. You're super strong.

I am confused. I am so sure that the slightest opening would do. But your heart is made of rocks. I can do nothing. But then I am struck by a brilliant idea. I myself tell my men to change the rock that the catapult unleashes with myself. They tell me that I am insane. But I need to open the gate from the inside. Your very gate.

As I have made up my mind. I gather all the strengths. I recall the reasons why I should fly over the wall. And the reason is YOU. I step onto the platform. The squads are fastening the strap and they are staring at me as if they would not like to see me dead. Everyone knows that I will die. I am certainly dead in no second because wherever I will be landing on, I am good as dead. But I believe in my faith and my sole purpose: To open the gate of your Heart.

Silence hits everybody on the slaughterhouse. The fainted looks of the soldiers. I tell this again to my heart: "Once you're in, you can't get out". So as everybody on the battlefield is pointing their eyes on me, I start the countdown. Telling my men to cut the rope, I am filled with anxiety. Worried and wavering. My life is absolutely in the palm of God's hand.

"3...2...one!". I close my eyes. I am so afraid that I can't even distinguish whether I am living a dream or what. Yet, I don't feel the bounce. And so I open my eyes again. The rope-cutters are unable to finish the task. Seeing their uncooperative attitude, my best comrade then takes control. He says, "Well, mate, I believe in you. I believe you'll survive and I do know that impassable gate will ultimately bow before you." I just smile. Fear has taken control over me.

I'm shaking. I shout once again: "Three!! Two!!! ................ ONE!". As I am shouting I can hear him drawing his sword. I know it's time. And Whoosh! I know I am flying! All those ticking seconds in the air have transformed into unpredictable sands of time. I suddenly relive all the past events of my entire life... The day I was born, the first day my uncle taught me how to wield a sword, the first day of summer, the first day I played snowballs with my neighbors, the first day I spent fishing with my dad, the first day I met a girl that took away my breath and the rest of days which I spent all with you, my dear love. Your gorgeous, lovely face melts within the visualization.

But the manifestation ends. I realise that at the moment your archers, with their jaw-dropped expressions, are all looking at me. They don't believe their eyes. Their bows are ready and the arrows are aflame, but they don't fire. Weird. And so I am flying over their heads, I am so sure they are puzzled. I bet they are wondering how such a mentally-deranged guy could ever walk on earth. However, still I salute them, waving my hands in the air as ridiculous as I can be.

My time is near. "I am just a second away from my expiry", I think. But God's answer is different. And as I fly right to the .................................................... (The End)


My point is, you write your own story. Your own ending. Your very own personal emotions. But remember, you're not alone in this world. There are me and billions of people out there.

I do know that you're well-guarded. We've been friends for more than 12 months. But I just know a little part of you. You're so exotic. I've been trying to look into you, but it always seems that you put so many barricades around you. To be truthful, I don't know who you REALLY are. Why do you always reply "I don't know" or "Never mind" or "There's nothing" to me? I can't get much deeper into you.

I do know you have problems. I know you are now experiencing an ordeal. A big hardship. Yeah, it's hard. If I were you, I'd be the same. And I guess that's why you sound so different. But one thing, your attitudes towards me are pointless. You're acting so cruel to me. And I've been trying to be nice. I will always be. But don't you see that if you don't explain why you're that bland on me, I will never know what I should do.

Time flies fast. And I've only got less than a month here in Jakarta. What could I tell you? I don't know.
:'(

Well, someday it's gonna make sense.

The Worst Scenario

Good things don't always seem to happen. Therefore, I must take bad occurrences into account, too. Because life is a mystery; you are just like a puppet and the world is your stage. Whereas God is your Master, your Shepherd and thus, we follow His Direction. But we don't even have any single idea what your future will be, right? We can predict them, we can make a forecast, but only Heaven knows.

"Expect the best, prepare the worst"

I can't tell when demise will pick me up. I can't tell if she'll be mine. But I can take massive actions to reach them! That's what you call "goals".

So this time, I'd like to write down some a scheme that could be the worst for me. Here we go:

These are the last ten minutes before you go. What could I tell you? I don't know. Your bag is packed and you've got your raincoat on. You're still here but your love is gone. I can't fight it, I can't even cry. Nothing can stop your last goodbye.
And I think:
I could lock you in the cage and throw away the key. I could put you on an island with sharks in the sea. I could tie you up, put a leash around your neck. I could bribe the police to keep you in town. I could build the Great Wall. I could put you in chains, handcuff you in the bed. But it DOESN'T make sense to hold you back because if love wants to fly, you can't keep it down. And more importantly because:
I can't tell the sun to shine in the night,
I can't tell the moon to warm up its light,
I can't tell the summer forever to stay,
I can't tell the clouds to stop rain,
I can't tell the ocean to swallow my pain,
I can't tell time to bring yesterday back,
I can't tell your love not to fade away.

You are My Girl (and I am Your Guy)

You are the winter following spring
You are the sun that summertime brings
You are the star in the nighttime sky
You are my girl (and I am your guy)

You are as fresh as the morning air
You are cute as a cuddly bear
You are soft as a baby's sigh
You are my girl (and I am your guy)

You are the love's know-how to explore
You are the princess that I bow before
You are the blessing in disguise
You are my girl (and I am your guy)

Once Upon a Sunday Night

One Sunday night:
1. It was raining. I had a bad feeling. As I came out of the door to the yard, I stumbled. Yes, it did make me believe that the SIGN is quarrelsome. An exaggerator machine, a go green stuff, a boredom hollow. Should have been 3, but mathematics did its job. As Sister Acts went through the pouring water, I thought I needed to inquire. I delivered a good personification. And I regret it. It ruined my plan of the day! :(

2. Then it rained again! Another midnight breeze. The sky turned red somehow. And I felt like I wanted to invade Mars. Another clue for me? Another insignia which told me to see how I should be prepared for the worst? As always, it happens. Every time, in the very last step. Don't say goodbye to me, please?

3. Non star-studded sky. A rain. Heavy weather. Clouds. Lightnings. Even I can't see my best night companion. "Yeah, I get it. I am not meant to be a PASTOR, you damn it!"

4. The dropping-downs. The in-replies. The chats. The vocabularies. The espionage. The attempt. The surprise that was no longer a surprise. A jammed brain attack. A black swan.

5. The choir. 3 Men. All golden voices. The Catholic Church. The overworn Green Batik that she wore. The Blue Batik that I wore. The picking-up. The waiting. The Rain. The Gift. The accomplices. The Hello Kitty. The text. The driver.

You Reap What You Sowed

I am not a Buddhist nor a Hindu, but I believe in the law of karma. What we did yesterday will have a feedback on us later whether it'll be tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the next week, or perhaps the next ten years. Even Mother Nature has programmed itself this way. For instance, the way we have been chopping down forests has contributed to the alarming rate of global warming. The CO₂ emission has subsequently soared and if we didn't do anything, we would soon be on the edge of extinction.

"To every action there is always an opposed equal reaction." - Isaac Newton

But I'd like to take this thing a bit to ourselves. Did you realise that we are products of the past? We are what we, our parents and friends did to us both externally and internally. Life is a choice. All the thing in this very world is all but choice. Whether you choose the "yes" answer, or the "no" answer, or maybe you don't choose both of them (That's a choice, too).

As in manufacturing process, you can be a good result or you can be a defect.

“学好三年，学坏三天”
"It takes three years to learn to be a man of integrity; it only takes you three days to degrade"

And once again, you pave your own path. If you are a bastard at the moment, leave all those bad behaviours all behind and learn to be patient, resolute and most of all, be kind. If you are a good fellow, keep it that way and wield your sword as if perfection existed. You can't change the past, but you certainly can alter your destiny.

We all once went to school, right? And how were your scores? Were you ranked amongst the top? Were you an average guy back then? And yes, the way we studied was represented on how we did our exams and how our marks turned out to be. Me? I was an average guy, my scores were not to be proud of because I didn't study real hard and smart enough to compete with those who always claimed the food chain's summit.

How about your health? What you eat will either benefit you or destruct you. To all those "carnivores" I send you this message:
"Please limit the meat intake, start eating vegetables and fruits like 3 times a day. And you will live longer. The rate of heart attack, stroke, cancer will unquestionably drop. You don't have to donate your precious money to the doctor." :)

I have seen many people regret the value of their lives when they are on the hospital bed, lying still and unconscious with Oxygen mask attached. At that time, they cherish the freedom and the happiness of being healthy. Even you've got golds under your bed, you can't reach them when you are sick.

Ironically, many of us also forget how it was like when we are sick. You consume saturated fat diets and bang! Stroke strikes you. You survive the stroke; you make healthy lifestyle the utmost thing in your life. Then you get well. After that, you forget what it's called "illness". You take beefs, barbecued pork, steaks into your mouth. Yes, eating has never been that salubrious. Bang! Once again, stroke comes to the surface! You survive, again, for the second time (Wow, merciful is God). You talk about healthy living everyday instead of sedentary lifestyle. And day by day, the "hale and hearty" breakfast gradually transforms into a "meager and inappropriate" brunch. Suddenly in the dead of night, bang! You suffer from stroke, again, for the THIRD time! And this time, you are gone. Even God will cry to see his creation acted like that. That you had been given two remedies, but you insisted to bring back the unhealthiness to your life. This example is a TRUE story! One of my relatives was acting that way.

Prevention is better. Much better. So people, start eating vegetables and fruits (for the "carnivores") and amplify its consumption for a better living. You can try the juice if you don't like eating them in such full appearance.

“好汉不吃眼前亏”
"A wise man will not fight even when the odds are obviously against him"

Griefs, sorrows and regrets will bring you nothing. Because like a seed, you plant a flower, it will not grow as a tree. It will grow as a flower. But you can still change by planting another good seed. Change, not tomorrow but right now.

T&C Apply

Yourself
Who are you? Who do you think you are?
What kind of traits do you bear?
How is your personality?
What about your background?
Are you a good one or a naughty one or are you a wolf disguised as a sheep?
Are you a frugal person or an extravagant one?
Can you change? Will you change for me?
Will you be loyal to me?
Do you love me too? Unconditionally? (Wow..Unconditionally. Yet, I ask you many of these silly questions. Sorry, really sorry)

Family&Relatives
What about your family?
Do they gamble?
Do they drink?
Do they smoke?
How are your siblings doing?
Tell me about your parents.

Your Insights
1. What will you choose, a motorcycle or a car? Why?
2. What do you think of "Distance doesn't ruin people's relationships. You don't have to see someone everyday to be in love"? Why?
3. What do you think of a couple who are in love?
4. Do you envy rich people for their wealth?
5. Does the rich deserve to be rich and richer?
6. What do you think of "Money is the primary source of every felony"?
7. "TV programmes make you a super idiot", to what extent do you agree or disagree?
8. What is life to you?
9. How will you react when you see a person claims to be the most superior one?
10. List them in numeric order: Money | Friends | Family | Boyfriend.
11. What do you choose: Ordinary or Extraordinary?
12. What is your very first thought when it comes to eating vegetables and fruits?

Well, there are still uncountable questions that I want to ask of you. I know I am a real choosy type. Perhaps you'll even be mad of me. But I need to know all of these because..I don't know! My parents taught me to "test" someone! And somehow I feel that this is inappropriate. But I really need answers to these questions. Maybe you'd think "Ugh, Jesus. Who is Steven? He's acting like a retard that seeks perfect love. Really disgusting." But hey, through this, I just want to judge people. That's all.

If you are really aware, Steven likes to ask bunch of questions. He likes to study a person deeply. To find what the others really are. He can absorb the idea of who-you-are by the ways you act.

“知彼知己，百战百胜”-孙子。
"Know your enemy and yourself, fight a hundred battles, win a hundred victories"-Sun Tzu

Well, sometimes in some occasions, Terms&Conditions Apply. :)

P.S. those questions above can be answered by anyone.

B'cos You're my Rainbow Love

White for the beginning
and red our love is spinning

Blue because you're my ocean
Tender as a cushion

Purple but not rainy
and green your hope will save me

Gray for stormy weather
Who cares when we're together?

Silver for the starlight
and black for after midnight

Gold because you are my sunshine
For everyday I am illumined

Pink as our sky
with a million butterfly

Yellow, red and blue
like a painted dream of YOU

Shining at the end of the sky and sometimes
reflecting from the ground of your eyes
It makes me cry
because you are my rainbow love.

R.E.C.I.S: Mixed-up Emotions

R.E.C.I.S. stands for Remarkable Engineered Children Involved in Service.

I made the protraction though. I've participated in this voluntary youth group in my parish for more than a year. This society, however, is the best one I've ever been into! The members are nice. They are superb. They are fresh, they are young, they're green (Green? haha) and they are exceptionally smart. We live in a same precinct, which is Kompleks Danau Indah. We share a same common thing to serve God with honour and dignity. We come from different societies but we all are good fellow Christians living in a densely-populated Muslim country of Indonesia. We are still on our teenage spirits because our group consists of citizens who are aged 12-25 I guess.

But well, enough with that. Let's get to the point. This group of mine started a programme called "BATIK 2010" (Battle and Etnik <-- These are what BATIK derived its history from). At first, the event would have been executed on July. That was damn crazy. Why? Because we hadn't known it yet until a person said that we were on the verge of collapse on early June! In the meantime, we were desperately gathering all the resources available. We assembled a group of 35 people to perform as committees. And so was I appointed to be a Chief Financial Officer to berserk my way through to achieve a 50 million Rupiah goal. We started from ZERO. Our treasury was ... empty! I was damn stressed and strained to the core! These strenuous tasks had my hormonal system disrupted so that blemishes started to emerge on my face; the same malfunction that occurs when I fall in love.

As time went on, well, the authority gave us a relief that stated our event should be suspended until August. I was unhappy at all, yet discontent. I thought things should have gone better, but not! Till the time I wrote this, after all the efforts my team has gone through, still no result. We have undergone so many ordeals. We have got across plenty obstacles. We have contacted big companies but still no response. We printed out our very proposals, we made our ideas come to life but no sign.

This thing burdens me a lot. This is time for all of us to enjoy the holiday time, but not for me. Even when I went to Singapore, I could not sleep early. I thought of Recis, I wondered if they can search for other sources of funding without me? I know it is my job, but for God's sake, there is a system. All you got to do is to follow the system. And when I got home, the same news. They did not search. I think positively: "Oh, perhaps they have their own matters when I was gone." Maybe I am too positive-minded. But wise people said, "You see the coin from both sides."

But hey, take a look at this good example! It was June 17, 2010 when I had to go for the 2^nd survey. I texted to some of my friends to accompany me and they replied "Oh, I have my own business. Sorry, can't help you", "I'm quite lazy today. Can't you go by yourself?", "I'm so sleepy!" and et cetera. Well, my hope faded and I would have to go by myself to GOR Danau Sunter. But in the last part, finally Brenda Tedjadharma joined my cause! She deliberately jumped off her bed and did something productive instead of just sleeping. That's what you call a friend. A friend that we can lean on. Thanks Brenda for helping me. Without you, I would have done things inefficiently there. :)

Okay, I am quite tired of this job, actually. But as I have vowed, I will not leave my team alone. I will not. No matter what happens next, WE will face it! Whether this programme will be on our side or not, only heaven knows. Because I fear when tomorrow comes. Why? When the sun rises, it means that another day has been wasted and our time is getting shorter. That's why Time is DIAMOND, Time is MONEY, Time is GOLD, Time is YOUR LIFE!

I've got no one to tell these feelings to so I wrote this. I have uttered these to my best friend, Mr. paper in my Recis notebook. I talked to myself in front of mirror. I must be insane. But, I just can't keep these inside. Please have sympathy on me. Anyone? Thanks.

Modeling: Ups or Downs?

Models have been thriving everywhere. You can see them in magazines, catwalks, internet.. Everywhere! Fashion has been such a good market for girls who are gifted with such fantastic appearances. With the advancement of this, fashions blossom, teenagers are now up-to-date. Cosmetics have also been such a vast, profitable industry.

Remedial agents have mushroomed. Facial surgery has been like a prerequisite. Plastic surgery is aimed to add beauty to the consumers. Beauticians are making money easily. Botox and other hazardous chemical compounds have been invented to meet the expanding demand all over the world. Not only girls, but boys too. Commenting these, now tons of models are eager to "edit" parts of their bodies in order to be "supermodels". They have forgotten how beautiful they are. To me, they have lost their dignities and their life merits.

Be grateful on what God has given to you.

I am not blaming the models. They work and that's a good thing rather than being unemployed. What I am blaming is the ones who gave a "wrong" perception in either fashion shows and photographs. These models are required to do the makeups. They must dress nicely. My point is, why must the models dress that way?? Why don't they just dress normally without those curved, crooked hairstyles? Without those eyeliners, without those accessories. They don't look nice in those things. They seem to be exaggerated, most of all.

So why are this models not photographed in their very natural way? Are they unattractive in their own daily ways? NO. In fact, they are more and more gorgeous in their home dresses!

I don't mean that you have to quit the modeling thing. You have the right to choose your own way though. :)

P.S. I personally would like to thank a friend of mine whose part-time job inspires me a lot. :)

Turning the 17 to 18

Well life, you've been shaping the today me. "Time flies fast", that's what people say. Yeah, I can't deny it nor reject it but 24 hours a day is too short. I wish earth revolved a bit slower. Let's say we had 50 hours in a day.

But Lord, I am very happy I can still breathe. I can still see how beautiful this world is despite it's literally melting. I can still enjoy my teenage spirit. And after all, I can still experience for the first time how love struck me real hard. And how I can get my share of love.

I have a good life. I am so grateful. I have a good father who always motivates me and gives me his wise words. He is always behaving strict to his children. And I thank dad for his force. Because of the disciplines instilled to me, I now understand what life is meant to be.

I have a good mother who forced me to eat vegetables and fruits. Now, look what I am, I love eating them! I will feel quite awkward when there's no green on my plates. Thanks to my mom for caring and helping me, driving me to the school, helping me finishing my artworks. You are such a great mom! Even my mom knows all my secrets. haha. About my crushes, everything! I just can't keep my secrets with me.

I have a good sister who always cheers me up in time of troubles. She gives me a new perception about fashion. Well, tell you the truth, I was quite old-fashioned back to two years ago. Even though my sister sometimes induces angers, but I still love you, sist.

I have good friends. But I think there are only some whom I can count on. Like Fransiskus Rosano Adi Prakoso, Boedi Setia Utama, Leonard Rusli, Steven Solichin, Andreanus Wijaya, Andrew Raditya, Markus Gunawan, Alberto Tengguna, Suwandi Efron, Marvin Lambert, Brenda Tedjadharma, Larissa Wiratno Hwang, Reinard Bagus Ananto, Pius Andhika Gustianto, Ivan Yulian, William Haezer Saputra, Chelia Kusumo and Violene Virginta. I can rely on them. Really. Oh and Maximinus Darwin too, my long-gone friend whose presence staggered me tonight! I can't believe that I mentioned my loved one to him. That means I trust him. :)

Oh God, I just wish two things to happen.
1. Can I be Ms. B's? Please give me guts to tell her from deep inside my heart.
2. Please Lord Jesus, lead and sustain me when I am studying abroad.

Thank You Lord, I know You always listen to my prayer.
:)

Happy Birthday, Steven!

So Baby, Here's the Bottom Line :

Bee Bee and Bee. God, the eyes of the world are on you! Many guys like you. I know it. You know it. The empress' charms you possess literally bring me down. Oh come on, I am not good at hiding my emotions. But whenever you're around, my heart is running away from the fact that I really DO LOVE YOU! And I guess you know how hard it is for me to try getting the words out of my deepest darkest bluish foundation. How can I tell you when words don't come easy? And there is so much I am trying to say.

I am fighting my own mind. Depleting the layer of my brain that says you are the only one. I am trying very hard. I swore I'd let nobody in. But you lessened the distance and thus, I have been trapped in the heat of your eyes. How could you trespass?

Well, somehow I feel that you and me are both like-minded. And your face, those eyes, those perfect linen fibers that spun your wondrous, like-no-others look! Oh no, I fell in the spell of your charm. Did you cast a voodoo on me?

Did you know that your name buzzes in my head every time I inhale? And exhale, too. Oh my, your name is truly like a parasitic digital voice that reaches out for more. It can't get enough. And when I deciphered your name, it contains the ambiance of "dullness". :)

Oh Queen of Hearts, you have brought me down to my knees. You have made my mind bend. You are like a spider and I could be the fly. I could be your victim of love but I believe this love is not phony because when I walk alone in the night through an empty street, I just can't stop thinking of you. Do you feel the pain? Could it be the same? Are you missing me too?

There is no cure to this feeling. I just need you by my side saying that you love me too. That's all.

So Initial B, tell me. Do you love me too?

Green Star

Hello little friend of mine, good to see you. :)
You are such a green polished little metallic thing that suddenly appeared. You are so worthy that I picked you up and preserved you.


You are the utmost reliable reminder. Because every time I look at you, I see her within my head.

You are the source of strength. Because whenever troubles come, you are there to hold me up.

You are sorrow exterminator. Because I will always smile when I take a peek of you, even at a glance.

You are a great conjurer. Because I will always feel that she's around whenever you are there.

You are simply a middleman. Because I can tell how much I love her through you.

You are a benevolent listener. Because you always listen to my aimless speech.

You are a trustworthy companion. Because I can sense your presence in anything I do. Everywhere, every single ticking second.

You are a blue star. Though you're green, but you deliver a great amount of blue to me.

You are love fertilizer. Thanks to you, my love has just been growing. :)

You are a lovely enchanter. Because you make me believe that I can be hers.

You are a key to everything. Because every thing that happens in my life is connected to her.

You are a good friend in the night. Because you always remind me of 'Bee' before I go to bed.

You are a sound priest. Because she is in my every prayer.

You are a good healer. Because I feel in the greatest mood ever whenever I look at you.


Well, greenie, thanks for being a part of my life.

From Me to You

Dear lovely,
Ms. B,

In this lonely night, here I am, sitting in front of my computer and browsing the pictures of you. Oh, the lyric in that song is right:

"When the night has come and the day is done, I am always thinking of you."

You are everywhere in everything I do. You are in the air. You are inside me. You voice is whispering to me through the cool summer breeze.

I am now putting my messenger to offline mode. I am recalling the days with you. Whenever I close my eyes, I see you there. As whenever I go to sleep, the only last thing remains is you. You are God's perfect creation.

I love you so much, so deep as blue ocean and so wide as boundless sea. But how can I tell you this?? I am always afraid of telling you that you are the only one to me. Always. But on the contrary, I am always afraid of losing you. Or when somebody else would take my place. :'(

Oh B, tell me what I should do. I know I just need to say it, but silence hits me. I am like a retard who always backs off. I am the kind of guy who is out of words and zips my mouth when it comes to telling the truth. "Am I a man or what?", I keep asking myself. I am truly shy.

Is this love going to remain still? Is this love going to be left unnoticed? Is this love going to bury itself? NO. I know this will sound embarrassing, but before I leave, I will utter the real feeling. Just for you.

Loving you always,
Steven.

What is your Life's Purpose?

Life is purely and solely a game. Living has ever been so easy. Life is your manifestation. You dream of a car, then suddenly a chrome yellow convertible sports car is parked in your personal 20 x 20 metres garage. Then you imagine a $ infinite withdrawal from your limitless, endless bank account and you put it in your vast underground cache. What a life you've got, fella. ;)

That sounds fun. But unfortunately, the world is not as I mentioned above.

Life is purely and solely a struggle. Living has never been easy. If it were easy, people all over the world would be super duper rich then. All lazy, lousy people would not be anymore lingered by poverty. And the dreams would always come true even you did not work your path through rocky, covered-with-holes streets.

The rich deserves to be rich and gets richer because they have paid the price for success. They have been sweating their paths out and now, be financially free. They always wake up early even before the first light comes to shimmer the earth. They have masterminded the principle of achieving the best of the bests. They have been, are, and will always be outside of their comfort zones. They will always grow. Why? Because when a tooth emerges, you suffer from unbearable pain. But when it's grown, does it hurt anymore? No. Their beliefs and their mindsets help them reach their goals, no matter what they face.

"What you can dream, you can achieve"

The poor deserves to be poor and gets poorer because they have not paid the price for success. They sleep all the day long, they never act. Even when they act, they are burdened by their inferior loser mindsets. They wake up late. They hesitate. They dream of big things, but they never take action to reach them. They are anxious to change. They are always inside the circle of their comfort zones. Their habits have them ended up in a shitty abyss.

"It is risky to change, but it is riskier not to change"

Well, life is a choice. Do you want to become a great, well-known figure in the next 10 years? Or do you want to be a mediocre, average people of the future? Your call.

I heard my good friend said: "Look, in the Bible it is written that God loves poor people. You can find Him in poor people's hearts. So, why should we become rich and become an enemy of God??"
I now have the answer:
God does not want us to become ordinary people with ordinary income and ordinary wealth. He wants us to become very extremely rich! Because when we are rich, we don't really care about how much money we have and we can lend our hands to those who need them. We can do charities, we can adopt children, we can build churches and we can contribute welfare to the famine-stricken people of Ethiopia, for instance. But when we are poor, we can't even handle our own problems. We don't care about others. And how can we be helping hands if we are poor?

We all live only once in this very habitat. Therefore, I say:
I, You, the one who is reading this right now and All people around the world who dare to change to become multi-millionaires in the near future, so we can help not only ourselves and our relatives, but also people out there who really do need our helps.

"Giving is RICH"

I was Ambushed (by a Love Party)

We met each other 360 days ago, really it was 360 days ago. I realised you were the prettiest lady in the band. Wherever my eyes were wandering, my look would every time land on your figure. You were like a black spot in the centre of the whites. Every time I looked away, I'd eventually turn my look to you, my dearest. But funny thing is that, at that moment I didn't feel that you were the perfect companion for me. Moreover, I thought "Yeah, I just like the look of you, Ms. B. Really not so interested in going much deeper."

You are gifted with the splendorous cat eyes! And I can't ever forget such nice look of yours. I don't know, but to me, eyes are the basic opposite sex's part which looks very attractive. And you behave well, too.

But as your showing up in the group conjures up a feeling inside me. Not a long time ago, when we were going out together, whether you felt it or not, I just wanted to be with you. That was when I became conscious of an emotion that had grown within, that I have fallen in love with you. I really want to be more than just a friend. I'll give anything to hear you say that I am more than a friend.

Now every night before I go to sleep, I let my thoughts travel with me to the moon. Venturing back to our very first saying-hello, how I couldn't let go of my eyes on you for three days and how surprisingly a love could attack me real hard.

Yeah, I was ambushed by a band of love. I imagined how life would be without you. I imagined how you'll be doing when I'm studying abroad. *Sigh*. You've got me counting the seconds. I only have no more than two months left. I just want to tell you how I really feel. I am damn mad about you. if only I could cancel my university things. But I know, someday, somewhere, we will meet again.

P.S. I hope I don't regret this. I really do love you, Ms. B.

Let's Get this May Over With.

"Uang yang hilang dapat dicari kembali, tetapi waktu yang sudah berlalu tak dapat dibeli kembali."

Oh my, May's about to end. 7 more hours, mate. How I really really feel that this month runs quick! And then I realised that I'd spent much of the time blank. I played games, I watched movies, I hanged out with friends and I surfed the Internet whole day long. I did it unproductively.

In my clock, two months are such a great deal of time. I don't want my time to be thrown away because money can't buy me time.

My father bought me life-changing books, but I just put it on the bookshelf. I left them be. My point is, a revolution shall be made to establish a new me! Tonight's gonna be my cornerstone. I gotta change! That's why I don't like people saying "Let it flow". For Christ's sake! What if the stream ended up in the gutter? Did you know that fish spends most of its life swimming against the current?? If it didn't, it'd be a dead fish, just in case you hadn't known that.

Today is the turning point. Don't hesitate!

The Need and The Want

We often go to department stores, shopping centres, you name it. And all of a sudden, maybe one wouldn't expect that he had spent much money extravagantly that day. My point is: many of us don't really realise what the differences between want and need are.

Want
Perhaps you once encountered this. When you were wandering about the mall, you were walking round the shops and somehow your eyes were caught off guard by an item. You really felt that if you don't buy it, the world will crush upon you. But in fact, let's say that thing is a piece of clothing, you've got a couple of cabinets full of garments! Oh gee, you should do charity by donating 50% of your clothes to those who are unable to buy them. Just donate it to an organisation anyway. A good example of want: A friend's mom of my friend literally has a tiny room filled with hundreds of footwear! For the love of God, please? Such a waste of money. Have you ever heard a story of Hong Kong's multimillionaire who jumped into the gutter just only to recover a coin that accidentally fell off his pocket? Yes, it happened. Please respect any single cent of your money.

Need
Usually people think that when there's a fixed purpose of buying something is when we are in the state of "needing something". But what if your intention were driven by personal aim to just cover the empty space within your closets? Therefore, in my opinion, when there is a single necessary demand of something that lies within him, in which the thing is going to be used for the sake of his work, then it is called a need. For instance, a student needs a laptop when he's studying abroad. Well, yes, he surely needs it because when he's got no laptop, then where should he do his tasks?

In short, what I'm trying to utter is we need to be able to identify and to distinguish these two main issues. I am very optimistic that we can appreciate a bit of our money and invest it in something we need, not we want.

---------------------------------
Pengetahuan adalah nihil sebelum dipraktekan.
Knowing is nothing. Applying what you know is everything!

Nothing's Perfect

I couldn't sleep early lately. There was always something revolving in my mind before I went to sleep. I was cumbered with this some sort of good old seeming philosophy. I kept questioning: "Is it true that nothing's perfect?".

When I looked back I figured out interesting facts indeed. It happened last year. I met this gorgeous girl. We had some conversations and I was lucky I could keep in touch with her more frequent. I loved the way she was, but as time rolled by, when we dined I uncovered the truth that she was "carnivorous". I don't know whether you guys accept a type of woman like this? Because to me, I feel that someone who does not eat vegetables dies faster and subjects to heart diseases, strokes, cancers, etc. No offense, okay? Moreover, I also think "what my and her child will be? I mean our child will be malnourished and will lack the vitamins and minerals needed." Well, people say I am far-sighted. But I perceive myself differently: I think of the long-term impact.

And there are still many other experiences regarding this. But well, I hope my paradigms are false! But I was instilled to behold the opposite. Hopefully I can change this silly thinking of mine. I was too heavily-burdened. And I also hope I could have a good time with her, again. :)

N O T H I N G' S   P E R F E C T.
Yes, it is.

I Passed My 12th Grade!

Today those scores were revealed. And although on some subjects I feel quite upset and "rice has turned into porridge", I am proud that I can graduate from secondary school! *Yeaayy!*

I am happy overall! :)

Hey, It is You I'm Writing About!

I like being with you. I don't mind if my parents are mad of me because I go home late. I like to keep those times stand still. Because the more I am beside you, the more I feel like home. You are such a nice girl, you know? You are different. You are like no others. You are not a naughty type, a quality guys want their girlfriends to be. You are kindhearted, the jewel of mystery. You are like the gold people are seeking after. And you are only one. No other girls can impersonate your inner charms. You are shining even though you are upset...Why? Because the inner beauty you've got in you!

Was I staring at an angel?! Because I could see the wings on your back! You are perfectly built for the killing. And I am dead now because of you. I was shot by the bullet of love. You are irresistible. Your smile, your eyes,.... everything about you is but a dream that comes to life! And with your magic spell, I have been resurrected. I am now forgetting my death, those ugly things in the near past. I am walking on the right track because of your presence.

Have you not heard the angels singing? I could see ten of thousands of stars glittering the two of us. While everybody else around us is going about, can we just stop and talk a while? Do tell me more about yourself please. I'd like to know more about you. You are my centre of attention. Just can't get rid of you!

Did you still remember the trot we took together? When the sunlight shimmered your pretty face? I could not stop thinking if I was living a dream? As if life were never meant to be like this great! I am wondering how a goddess like you came down to the earth and met me, a mere ugly, silly boy?
Yes, you are surprisingly extraordinary.
You are the best.
You are _ _ _ _ _ _    _ _ _ _ _ _. :)

"I Think I am ..."

When I looked at my status, it's "single". To me, this word keeps harassing me obliquely. The most unreliable source of my strength. The vault of my weaknesses. I am truly under pressure. And sometimes I feel dull. Dull about what it will become in my future. Whether I will finally find The One? Or perhaps ... no, that's not worth thinking.

Surely these are what I think I am:
1. Fall in love quite easily
Yeah. I said "quite". It seems that so-called pheromone has a lot to do with this. haha. I do have some sort of qualification, but when it comes to meet the girl, the feeling just pops! I guess everybody is like that?

2. Choosy
I have my own type, which I personally can't even tell either. Perhaps the principle which states that "my girlfriend will become my wife" is not making any sense. But yes, I choose my soul mate. So, I would be very thorough in inspecting girls from the way they act, their attitudes and so on.

3. Loyal
I define myself as a loyal guy. Hard statement though. But why? Because I am instilled to be for one lady only. When I fall in love in the first sight, I am sure I will look after her. Believe it or not? :) Tough assertion. I can't elaborate much.

4. You judge me
Hello guys. It's time to judge me. It's not me talking about me, but it's you talking about me, right? You all are my friends and I guess you know me pretty deep, eh? So, feel free to comment about who I really am.

Cheers!

A Wound that Healed

That ugly March.. the fact that she had been taken made my heart shattered (as always). Yeah, but guess what? I was feeling strong enough to repel the wave that was crushing down on me even though I was on the brink of my downfall, I do know... that, well, I was late again. That I did not learn from the past. A regret that took a long while to fade.
One benefit: Brokenhearted is no more painful than ever.

I was sad. I was blue. I was kind of losing hopes that moment. In brief, I was totally spiritless! Yet, days surely would never put the pieces back into one. I hated it. I was trying to say to myself that I was living a lie! But crying over spilled milk is just a waste of time, isn't it?

As days roll by, I found me a bit fortunate. April turns out to be more promising yet demanding. :) I have worked unsociable hours with this ailment and God seemed to be knowing what I was exactly needing, a spring. So then, 4 days ago, I was introduced to someone who astonished me! I was staggered. Her unmatched inner-charm has caught me off guard although I have tried numerous times to elude it. So surprised that I have been thinking of her in everything that I do. I found it hard to drop her off. I just want to buy some more time just to be with her. Haha. A common feeling of love.

Can't tell you whether this feeling is real or it is just a mere byproduct in which March's ugliness is taken into account? I'd say I'm not sure. But it preferably goes to the real side. I am a realist anyways. :)

A new golden dawn. And the stake is high: CalvinKlein. :p

P.S. Thank you Lord Jesus for her presence in my life. Thank you SE, you are the best mate God's ever given!
Cheers!

God Does Exist!

I still have that thing kept in mind. I still remembered September 31^st 2007, the first day of my one-year invocation. But I have not been able -yet- to recall when and where I retrieved that life-changing book? I believe I did not buy it. I know I found it somewhere. It could be in the chapel. Strange was it. Why did I take the book and bring it home? It's such a mystery that I myself have managed to grasp the answer, but the answer is hiding somewhere unreachable. Sometimes before I sleep, I take time and give an answer to myself: "Well.. Perhaps it's God's plan."

The book is titled "15 DOA Untuk Menghormati 5480 Pukulan Pada Tubuh Yesus". And inside it there were printed a background how that invocation handbook was made, Jesus' 23 promises and a series of prayers. The promises Jesus offers are so intriguing and thus, I started praying. 7 days passed, 1 month, 3 months, 6 months ..... and finally a year. I prayed it for one year, without one single day wasted. At first I couldn't believe it! I was like "Wow?! I have prayed for a year?? That's unbelievable! I could not even focus on one thing for a long period of time beforehand!"

Since the day I commenced praying, I felt many changes in me. I felt as if I had been reborn once again to this world! I felt brand new. Fresh and vibrant. And from that point afterward, I can perceive the promises He mentioned in the book. I experienced numerous incidents which, I can tell you, are so amazing that I couldn't believe my own eyes! I could have been blind if Jesus had not been by my side. I may not have been here sharing this if Jesus had not helped me.

---------------
Promise no. 17 : "Kamu akan mendapatkan segala sesuatu yang engkau minta dari Allah dan Perawan Maria"

"Jesus answered my prayers". That's what I think. And I believe His words are always true. Heaven and earth may cease, but His words remain. Do you know that most of my wishes come to life?? Yes, it happens. Well, there is a Virgin Mary grotto in the complex of my school. I sometimes spend my days after school go there and pray for a while. And recently I just fathomed and comprehended that most of what I asked of are answered. For example, last October I prayed for God's clemency on my wrongdoings and pleaded Him that I could reconcile with a teacher and the next day 'that teacher' visited me and problem was solved. Another example is when I ask Mother Mary to guide and give the best for my sister's further education, the next day..poof! Problem was solved right away. And when I ask of God about winning something, and ting! My dad won.

"Hell!" I think. The grotto is blessed. And I guess me either. Sometimes this matter mystifies me. But well, it is God's design. Neither I nor all of us can answer it.
---------------

What I've learnt so far is God exists. Nowadays, many people let go of their faiths, many of us no longer believe in God. Some people condemned God for things occurring in their lives. I know this world has gone astray and now on condition of disarray. We can't change the world, but we can change ourselves. And one thing will never change: No matter what God you believe in, as long as you keep believing, God is always on your side.

Will there ever be World Peace?

Wars have been inevitable parts of human life. Since the era of when the first human species walked this earth, there are only five hundred years of peace ever recorded. History says it that mankind has already fought numerous battles which shape the nowadays world. As history travels through time, billions of people around the globe are now cherishing and regarding that peacekeeping acts are the most supreme, unquestioned morality. But believe me, such pacification will never be forever. With varying ideologies, the advents of modern warfare and the need to survive reside inside every human, they will eventually lead political groups to dominate others.

War can be commenced by the mean of different ideologies adopted by both opposing factions. World is not a habitat for one group of people but it is a home for human beings from different ethnics, religions and ideologies. Therefore, this world is the “best” battleground, since a spark of war could occur at any second. When a radically-based group perceives that it is in jeopardy by the emerging external force in the form of another dissatisfactory belief, this society will ultimately proceed to the state ‘at war’. For instance, wars between the Christians and Muslims –renowned as Crusades – were based on a reason to recapture the Holy Land and to repel the soil from Muslim Arabs. Another example is the U.S. war on terror across the Arab world –like in Afghanistan and in Pakistan – which is said being done to eliminate the terrorists’ strongholds and deteriorate the so-called terrorist group. In addition, leaders sometimes enter into a war under the excuse that their actions are primarily defensive, however when viewed objectively, their actions may resemble a form of unwarranted, disproportionate aggression.

With the advent of gunpowder, the acceleration of technological advances and the vast number of army, the war itself can be initiated. Since the gunpowder was invented in the late 15^th century in Europe, military warfare has undergone dramatic changes, such as the improvement of armaments – from bows to rifles, from catapults to artilleries, from chain mails to bulletproof vests –, which will effectively amplify the blow to the enemy. Moreover, the innovations taking place in chemical industry has also enhanced the making of explosives and biological weapons. These will consequently boost up the ego of each group to start a war. But the number of youths in a country is also a fundamental matter as well. A nation could not start a campaign without the proper amount of soldiers. According to the Youth Bulge theory, males from 15 to 29 years of age are classified as a cohort. Thus, a country would think twice before commencing hostilities and it will likely to impose a compulsory military service regulation on young, productive men. As far as the eyes can see, modern warfare policies have standardized many countries worldwide to uplift the number of armies. For example, before the Nazi Germany launched an invasion to Poland, it is noted down that the German Army consisted of 18.2 billion able-bodied men. With massive number of soldiers, one country could commence a conflict easily.

Furthermore, defensive state of one country is often uttered as one of the motivations why these people should go into war purposelessly. As a basic need for survival, one of the ways of humans’ efforts to have their existence considered is to join the war against the one who oppresses them. Wars have been culturally rooted in all tribes. When one nation conquers another, the subjugated people who are suffering from inequalities will gradually revolt and try to overthrow the imperialist. The Spanish Inquisition which was meant to crush the Muslim domination over the Iberian Peninsula by recapturing the lost territories and reestablishing Catholic hegemony is one of many examples. Continued existence of one group is one key principle of human race so that every life form, even an animal, will sacrifice its life just to defend its presence.

In short, war is an activity which every single of us cannot avoid explicitly or implicitly, for humans’ egos are beyond everything the world could offer. All we can do is to pray that such peace could stand any longer.

----------------

As a task for my class in participation of English Competition (see http://www.nextstoplondon.org), I wrote this essay. Should one make some corrections on this writings, for I know I'm not so good at English.
:)
So please do write down comments guys.

Thank you for those who inspect my writing! You earn my gratitude. :)

Communication is the Key

"A couple of lovers should make their worlds mixed together and in addition, becomes one independent body of the two's realms. Therefore, the newly entwined world is more enriched, not impoverished". I remembered that statement spoken on the talk show. Thereafter, I was struck by a lousy experience to which this condition equals.

I used to have a good friend. We often chitchatted through MSN and facebook. For a reason or two, we didn't speak again until last month I retrieved her BB PIN from her facebook account and added her. Then we talked via BBM. As an initiator, of course I said hello and the conversation continued normally. Some time later, she told me she had got a boyfriend and her words explicitly stated that her boyfriend had her 'in chain' by not letting her chatting to what she called me a "stranger". I think, "I'm a STRANGER? STRANGER you said?? Wew, that's so wrong!" And the weirder thing was she let that egocentric policy ruled over her. Anyways, despite the fact that she was such an arrogant being, I just fitted myself with a simple principle "Well, just forget it. Perhaps she said it unintentionally." Then I started realising that somehow her words conjured an intention to repel my presence. In addition, she got so pissed (the reason was not clear) that she 'removed' me from her friend list and blocked me.

"Wow, what a GREAT experience you've got, Steven" I think. I was blamed for something I did not do. I didn't give her a jerk, I was too nice to forget the "stranger" thing, I just said hello and I got a knife pierce my heart so deeply in return (Not because I like her, but her attitude towards me was definitely..wrong).

Communication is a fundamental matter. And the act that I conserved to her (via internet) was not erroneous, right? I just wanted to greet an "old friend". Duh, she was too influenced by her misleading partner.

This is very very untrue. Why? Because the relationship we build with our partners should enhance our lives, not make us bounded. It is okay for our steadies to be jealous when we interact with others of different gender, but this should not be too excessive. For instance, limiting his girlfriend's communication to the others but not to him, even cutting off contacts with her friends. This can't be tolerated, for each of us has the right to interact!

I disgust those people who installed barbed wires around "his beloved one". I feel pity for those actors (Actors due to the male's tendency to behave so). Hey, we are living in the era of democracy!

Well, this is life we are facing. We are unique. A differs from B, B differs from C, etc. But this matter cannot be left like this. I want to change those people's 'unkind' behaviour which will ultimately lead to an inevitable utter destruction of a household. But I know I can't. I can't change them for the greater good. But at least I do know that, for one whose partner is flexible and adaptive (in this particular problem), a happy family is undoubtedly to be fostered.
:)

"I just have to see you again"

It has always been like this for three years. This emotion always evokes only on February! I don't even know why. I can't figure it out. My head is in a jam, can't take you off my mind. From the time we met I've been beset by thoughts of you. And ironically, the more I ignore this feeling the more I find myself believing: I just have to see you again.

But there's where my weakness resides. I'm too shy to let you know. Afraid that I might say the wrong words and hence, displease you. But I do know that I shall just do it, for she will never know I love her if I don't tell her, right? But my willpower often hides away. Shame on me.

Now, I'm like a child again. I'm out and lost for words. How does one define a crush combined with longing? A Longing to posses you oh dear. Perhaps I'll go mad if I can't have you?

Love, Golden Dawn, You

Were we at the afterglow ... ?
Now I am lying here, clinging to the hope that has faded away
If we look back to our spring of youth, will you still deny me? Will you still say that they're all fakes? Will you still forsake me? Will you?

We shared the dawn, but I know even the dawn had to go..to be replaced by the dusk.
Love has to cry .. But it needn't die
Love has to grow .. But it needn't go. :'(
Well, heart has to sigh .... it's the test of time.

Now that days have changed into months. And months into years.
2008 - Yet still I remember the way we met in the very class. We've traveled through time and space and it feels as if it had just occurred yesterday. Time flies fast. Oh how I was calloused by doubts, joys, and fears. Fear that I might lose you. I always wanted to be with you and those delicacy kept me yearning for you even more.

Now I've somehow lost you. And I'm feeling lost right now. So lost. Look girl, I can't bear deleting you from my memory.. You are love at the first glance. You're very precious. You're unique!
We both do know, or at least I do, we've gone too far from the dawn. That second golden dawn when love is true still I'll wait. Seriously, I'll wait for it.

Love, Golden Dawn, and You.

Word of Honour

Firstly, I want to thank God and all of those who have helped me so far. hehe. I know this might appear awkward, but hey, I took an oath just now, for I'm grateful that I was invited by NTU and NUS to sit for their UEEs (University Entrance Exam). Why am I so thankful? Well, because it's hard to get a seat! Only 1,000 international students all over the globe are to be considered for the admission and we all strive hard to accomplish it. And though I haven't got in, I really thank God for those chances given. :)

These days are dark times. Just a month or two to get through. But the pain is unreliably burdensome. Sometimes I wish I were not born, but I think God is shaping my life?

Neverending assistance from Him since I prayed it for a full year. I'm glad, that by chance, I found a book of prayer that leads me to unraveled divine mystery. True it is! A year is not wasted then.

I vowed a pledge. A pledge which states "No browsing/internet-ing for a couple of month, except for weekends".
Hell! I was initially hard to believe that I swore such a promise! But the most arduous thing is that from tomorrow on, I won't be going online but on weekends. hiks.

Second knows no turning back. So little time I've got here. 6th,7th,20th,21st February are the days. Advanced Level test is truly hard. I've reviewed over and over again, but apparently they don't fit inside.

Whatever, I think I should enjoy it. As they are gifts to me.
I want to succeed!

The Forgotten Commandment

Forwarded from my discussion in a so-called "Pendalaman Iman" group:

Saudara-saudari dalam Kristus Yesus,
selama ini pernahkah Anda bertanya "Bener gak sih perayaan hari Minggu??" atau mungkin, kita tak sadar bahwa sebenarnya PERAYAAN ataupun IBADAT di
HARI MINGGU ADALAH SALAH?
Di bawah ini akan saya sampaikan isu kontroversial yang berkembang di Gereja dari dahulu, yakni tentang Hari Sabat. Sudah 7 bulan saya mulai mencermati kenyataan yang memahitkan ini, dan selama 7 bulan itu, sebagian waktu saya habiskan mencari ayat-ayat di Kitab Suci dan sumber dari internet mengenai hal ini.
Saudara-saudari, selamat mencermati.

PANDUAN DALAM MEMBACA (HARUS!):
1. Siapkan hati yang mantap, dengan hati yang terbuka.
2. Siapkan Alkitab / Kitab Suci di depan Anda. Semua ayat di bawah ini bukan lah karangan belaka, namun diambil dari Kitab Suci.
3. Bacalah sesuai urutan, dari atas ke bawah, satu per satu secara perlahan-lahan. Jika Anda menemui huruf yang dicetak besar (KAPITAL), cermatilah baik-baik.
4. Renungkan lah. Anda lah yang mengatakan hal tersebut benar atau salah.

------------------

GEN 1:5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day. (Kejadian 1:5 Dan Allah menamai terang itu siang, dan gelap itu malam. Jadilah petang dan jadilah pagi, itulah hari pertama.)

EX 20:11 For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the SEVENTH day: wherefore the LORD blessed the SABBATH day, and hallowed it. (Keluaran 20:11 Sebab enam hari lamanya TUHAN menjadikan langit dan bumi, laut dan segala isinya, dan Ia berhenti pada hari KETUJUH; itulah sebabnya TUHAN memberkati hari SABAT dan menguduskannya.)

GEN 2:3 And God BLESSED the SEVENTH day, and SANCTIFIED it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made. (Kejadian 2:3 Lalu Allah MEMBERKATI hari KETUJUH itu dan MENGUDUSKANNYA, karena pada hari itulah Ia berhenti dari segala pekerjaan penciptaan yang telah dibuat-Nya itu.)

NUM 23:20 Behold, I have received commandment to BLESS: and he hath blessed; and I CANNOT REVERSE it. (Bilangan 23:20 Ketahuilah, aku mendapat perintah untuk MEMBERKATI, dan apabila Dia memberkati, maka aku TAK DAPAT MEMBALIKKANNYA.)



atau, bisakah kita??
Sekarang semua denominasi Gereja memiliki ibadat perayaan di Hari MINGGU, yang merupakan hari pertama, bukanlah hari Sabat (ketujuh)
Bagaimana ini bisa terjadi saudara-saudara??



The Convert's Catechism of Catholic Doctrine menyatakan:
"We observe Sunday instead of Saturday because the Catholic Church in the Council of Laodicea (364 AD) transferred the solemnity from Saturday to Sunday" (Page 50)
"Kita menghormati Hari Minggu daripada Sabtu karena di dalam Konsili Laodicea (364 Sesudah Masehi) Gereja Katolik memindahkan kekhidmatan dari Hari Sabtu ke Hari Minggu." (Hal 50)

Akan tetapi, Tuhan berkata:
DEUT 4:2 Ye SHALL NOT ADD unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye DIMINISH ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you. (Ulangan 4:2 JANGANLAH kamu MENAMBAHI apa yang Kuperintahkan kepadamu dan janganlah kamu MENGURANGINYA, dengan demikian kamu berpegang pada perintah TUHAN, Allahmu, yang kusampaikan kepadamu.)


Apakah di dalam Alkitab terdapat ayat-ayat yang membenarkan perubahan ini??adakah??
Hanya 8 ayat di dalam alkitab yang merujuk kepada hari pertama dalam satu minggu (Hari Minggu). Dan tak ada di antaranya yang menyebutkan bahwa Hukum Allah dapat diubah. (Sumber: WLC Ministry)


Jika tak ada satu ayat pun di dalam alkitab yang menyebutkan hal itu, dengan kekuasaan apakah Hari Sabat dipindahkan??
The Convert's Catechism menyebutkan:
"Had she [Catholic Church] not power ... she could not have substituted the observance of Sunday, the first day of the week, for the observance of Saturday, the seventh day of the week ... a change for which there is no Scriptural authority." (Page 174)
"Apakah ia [Gereja Katolik] tak memiliki kekuasaan? ... dengan menukarkan perayaan ke hari Minggu, hari pertama dalam satu minggu, dengan yang Hari Sabtu, hari ketujuh? ... Sebuah perubahan yang tak didasarkan oleh Kitab Suci." (Hal 174)


Semuanya ini dimulai sejak zaman penciptaan. Tuhan menginstitusikan Hari Sabat pada masa tersebut. Ia memberkati dan menguduskan hari Sabat. Inilah mengapa kita memiliki 7 hari dalam 1 minggu (bdk. Kejadian 2:2-3).
Tuhan juga menghendaki Musa dan bangsa Israel untuk menguduskan hari Sabat-Nya sebelum diberikannya Sepuluh Perintah Allah (bdk. Keluaran 16:4, 26-30). Lalu Allah menuliskan kesepuluh perintah-Nya di atas batu. Dan untuk menguatkan prioritas hukum Sabat, Ia memberikan penjelasan yang tak ada di sembilan hukum-Nya yang lain. (Lihat Keluaran 20:8-11 ; Tuhan memberi contoh jelas untuk perintah: "Ingat dan Kuduskan lah Hari Sabat", sedangkan di perintah lain tak ada yang sejelas ini. Coba dibaca di Alkitab Anda).


Selain itu, Yesus, Anak Allah, ketika turun dari surga dan menjelma sebagai manusia, Ia membuat pola untuk kita. Ia menjadikan suatu tradisi dan kebiasaan untuk melaksanakan ibadat di Hari Sabat. (bdk Lukas 4:16)
-->Lukas 4:16 Ia datang ke Nazaret tempat Ia dibesarkan, dan menurut kebiasaan-Nya pada hari Sabat Ia masuk ke rumah ibadat, lalu berdiri hendak membaca dari Alkitab.

Bahkan, para Rasul Yesus tetap menghormati hari Sabat setelah penyaliban-Nya, sampai-sampai mereka menunda penguburan Yesus. (bdk Lukas 23:56)
-->Lukas 23:56 Dan setelah pulang, mereka menyediakan rempah-rempah dan minyak mur. (b) Dan pada hari Sabat mereka beristirahat menurut hukum Taurat,

Paulus dan kesebelas rasul pun tetap merayakan hari Sabat bersama-sama dengan kaum Yahudi dan non-Yahudi. (bdk Kisah Para Rasul 13:14, 42-44 ; 16:13 ; 18:4)
-->ACTS 18:4 And he reasoned in the synagogue every sabbath, and persuaded the Jews and the Greeks (Kisah Para Rasul 18:4 Dan setiap hari Sabat Paulus berbicara dalam rumah ibadat dan berusaha meyakinkan orang-orang Yahudi dan orang-orang Yunani.)
Tak ada satu ayat pun di dalam Perjanjian Baru yang berbicara bahwa hari Sabat dihapuskan!

IS 66:22-23 For as the new heavens and the new earth, which I will make, shall remain before me, saith the LORD, so shall your seed and your name remain. And it shall come to pass, that from one new moon to another, and from one sabbath to another, shall all flesh come to worship before me, saith the LORD. (Yesaya 66:22-23 Sebab sama seperti langit yang baru dan bumi yang baru yang akan Kujadikan itu, tinggal tetap di hadapan-Ku, demikianlah firman TUHAN, demikianlah keturunanmu dan namamu akan tinggal tetap. Bulan berganti bulan, dan Sabat berganti Sabat, maka seluruh umat manusia akan datang untuk sujud menyembah di hadapan-Ku, firman TUHAN.)

EZEK 20:20 And HALLOW my sabbaths; and they shall be a SIGN between me and you, that ye may know that I am the LORD your God. (Yehezkiel 20:20 KUDUSKANLAH hari-hari Sabat-Ku, sehingga itu menjadi PERINGATAN di antara Aku dan kamu, supaya orang mengetahui bahwa Akulah TUHAN, Allahmu.)

ACTS 5:29 Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men. (Kisah Para Rasul 5:29 Tetapi Petrus dan rasul-rasul itu menjawab, katanya: "KITA HARUS LEBIH TAAT KEPADA ALLAH DARIPADA KEPADA MANUSIA.)


Tak ada satu ayat pun yang membuktikan perayaan di hari Minggu.
Di lain pihak, satu perintah yang dilupakan orang banyak adalah perintah yang dimulai dengan kata "Ingatlah".
KELUARAN 20:8 INGATLAH DAN KUDUSKANLAH HARI SABAT!

Dari referensi WLC (World's Last Chance) Ministry, denominasi Kristen pun juga tak dapat membuktikan perayaan hari Minggu:
1. Baptist
"There is no scriptural evidence of the change of the Sabbath institution from the seventh to the first day of the week."
Dr. E.T. Hiscox
author of the Baptist Manual

2. Congregationalist:
"It is quite clear that however rigidly or devotedly we may spend Sunday, we are not keeping the Sabbath."
Dr. R.W. Dale
The Ten Commandments, pages 106-107

3. Methodist:
"Many believe that Christ changed the Sabbath. But, from His own words, we see that He came for no such purpose. Those who believe that Jesus changed the Sabbath base it only on a supposition."
Amos Binney
Theological Compendium, page 180

4. Episcopalian:
"We have made the change from the seventh day to the first day, from Saturday to Sunday, on the authority of the one holy, catholic, apostolic church of Christ."
Bishop Seymour, Why We Keep Sunday.

5. Catholic:
"It is well to remind the Presbyterians, Baptists, Methodists, and all other Christians, that the Bible does not support them anywhere in their observance of Sunday. Sunday is an institution of the Roman Catholic Church, and those who observe the day observe a commandment of the Catholic Church."
Priest Brady,
in an address, reported in the Elizabeth, N.J. "News", March 18, 1903.


MT 15:9 But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
(Matius 15:9 Percuma mereka beribadah kepada-Ku, sedangkan ajaran yang mereka ajarkan ialah perintah manusia.)

------------------

Semoga membantu kita, Kaum Kristiani dalam menjalankan perintah Tuhan untuk merayakan Hari Sabtu, dan BUKAN Hari Minggu.

Damai Kristus.

Written by Steven Sanjaya,
January 16, 2010.

Nice to know you, 2010

Hi 2010!! :)
I welcome you to my life. Hope this year will turn out to be the best ever!
Other crusades have to be done this year: National Examinations, UEE (University Entrance Exams) and IELTS.

Can't believe it when I recalled the past events occurring in 2009.
Each month has it.

January: 27th (that midnight call)
February: 14th & 21st (opening and closing)
March: 18th (The new hope), 25th (...)
April: 17th (Text Miracle)
May: 18th (A tone in dream plane)
June: 1st (one simple principle), 2nd (a great conjurer), 6th (the cradle of love), 24th (17!)
July: 14th (yey!)
August: 12th (significant other), 21st(Intensified), 28th (a year passed me by)
September: 7th (Motivated by her!), 29th (her quot reminds me of...)
October: 5th (deja vu everyday), 26th (1st impression)
November: 3rd (encounter), 12th (her eyes?), 20th (dream and the shooter).
December: 3rd ("Angel" for real??), 9th (everyday Deja vu)..

Anyways, happy new year!
Cheers!
:)

Bye bye 2009

2009 is at its end. But I won't forget this year. A year filled with happiness, merriness, clumsiness, awkwardness, coincidences, sorrows and fortunes. I found my best friends in this year too. How dramatic alterations made my life so colourful. :P
Man, a year passes by. Day runs too quick. If only there were more than 24 hours a day! (I want more sleep!)

Half an hour to go, and I'm now prepared to face the imminent change!
2010 would be a year for me to strive hard! To achieve the dreams, to put thoughts into actions.

2010: Inbound
2009: "Farewell!" | “拜拜”